Birthday
Today should have been Jennie's birthday. She should have been 38 today. I remember Jennie's very last birthday, two years ago today. How things change in just 24 months.
On this day, I also remember my last conversation with Jennie. I was complaining about turning 40. She said she was looking forward to 40, she thought it would be a new start. Maybe she was just trying to make me feel better; she was that kind of girl. But I think she really might have been looking forward to turning 40. I think she really did crave a new beginning. She was a dreamer. She believed she would find a new partner in life, new romance, new love. She wanted that, and it should have been hers.
I know that my friend is remembering Jennie on this day, too. I wonder what it would be like, having only yourself to blame that a birthday that should have been, is not.
I do believe Jennie is celebrating with the angels today. She had a special fondness for angels. She believed in angels, she collected books about them. She talked about them. I think about heaven sometimes, and I wonder if happiness and contentment is complete as long as people on earth still mourn. I think about Jennie's family today, and their sad ritual. They visit her grave today, they gather for a meal. I imagine them talking to her, apologizing that justice has not yet been served. Promising that she will have justice, before her next birthday.
On this day, I also remember my last conversation with Jennie. I was complaining about turning 40. She said she was looking forward to 40, she thought it would be a new start. Maybe she was just trying to make me feel better; she was that kind of girl. But I think she really might have been looking forward to turning 40. I think she really did crave a new beginning. She was a dreamer. She believed she would find a new partner in life, new romance, new love. She wanted that, and it should have been hers.
I know that my friend is remembering Jennie on this day, too. I wonder what it would be like, having only yourself to blame that a birthday that should have been, is not.
I do believe Jennie is celebrating with the angels today. She had a special fondness for angels. She believed in angels, she collected books about them. She talked about them. I think about heaven sometimes, and I wonder if happiness and contentment is complete as long as people on earth still mourn. I think about Jennie's family today, and their sad ritual. They visit her grave today, they gather for a meal. I imagine them talking to her, apologizing that justice has not yet been served. Promising that she will have justice, before her next birthday.
posted by Juanita at
8:41 AM
2 Comments:
Wow. This day will never go by for anyone involved without it being filled with thoughts of her.
I know that she is smiling down on you as she read this post. I know that she is happy that you honor her this way.
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