Candy, Candy Everywhere
...and none of it to eat. (Sniff.)
I love candy. I'm a candy-hog. Always have been. And now Valentine's Day has become the new Halloween. I can't believe the amount of candy that's floating around this house. And NO, I'm not just hypersensitive to it because of the diet. It's outrageous! What ever happened to those nasty little conversation hearts? I could swim in those, no problem. I wouldn't even be tempted. But modern kids are too smart to fall for that vile confection. No, the valentines in this house all have Snickers, Twix, or M&Ms taped to them. Damn the luck.
Speaking of Valentine's Day... I survived. Survived the 5th grade party, that is. I realized, only yesterday, that I was positively insane to have agreed to be the room mother this year. I would rather give a speech in front of 10,000 people than run a party for a group of fifth-graders. I can't stand coordinating grade-school parties. The pressure! Kids have no sense of tact. If you're doing a shitty job, they'll let you know it. And as soon as the teacher walks out of the room: Chaos! They instantly turn into a pack of monsters, waiting to devour the poor room mother. I've seen it. I know.
So yesterday morning, in my pre-party panic, I took the advice of a seasoned room mother and bought an interactive DVD game. "Great entertainment," she said..."the kids will love it!" "It'll be EASY," she said.
"Easy" I repeated, as if in a trance.
With no time to waste, I ran to Target. Of course they were out of the game she recommended. But they had Family Feud. In my panic, I bought it. "Family Feud," I thought, "that's a fun game! The kids will love it, and it will be EASY!"
EASY!
Well, I got that stinking game home and I could not figure out how to make it work. Tick tock, the party is in 30 minutes. What am I going to do? I have no back up plan! So I sent an urgent text message to my husband and it said: "HELP! I CAN'T FIGURE OUT THIS GAME, PLEASE COME TO THE 5TH GRADE PARTY, I NEED YOU, PLEASE!!!"
(Nevermind that my husband is a CPA, up to his eyeballs in taxes right now. This was an emergency.)
But I never heard from him. So much for my urgent message.
I went to the party with my useless game. I confessed to the teacher that I couldn't make it work. So she stuck it in her DVD player and lo & behold! It worked! Eureka!
Just to be sure, we fired up a sample question.
"What do people like to do on the weekend?" the game asks. Hmmm. That seems like a fun question. Let's click on the answer...
Survey Says:
A. Drink alcohol
B. Have sex
C. Who cares what C, D, and E are!
My $19.95 game was NOT going to be the hit of the 5th grade party. Instead, we stalled as long as possible over Valentine's distribution, treat eating, and then we played a free game called "four corners." The kids loved it.
And I have made a solemn vow that I will never, ever sign up to be the room mother again.
I love candy. I'm a candy-hog. Always have been. And now Valentine's Day has become the new Halloween. I can't believe the amount of candy that's floating around this house. And NO, I'm not just hypersensitive to it because of the diet. It's outrageous! What ever happened to those nasty little conversation hearts? I could swim in those, no problem. I wouldn't even be tempted. But modern kids are too smart to fall for that vile confection. No, the valentines in this house all have Snickers, Twix, or M&Ms taped to them. Damn the luck.
Speaking of Valentine's Day... I survived. Survived the 5th grade party, that is. I realized, only yesterday, that I was positively insane to have agreed to be the room mother this year. I would rather give a speech in front of 10,000 people than run a party for a group of fifth-graders. I can't stand coordinating grade-school parties. The pressure! Kids have no sense of tact. If you're doing a shitty job, they'll let you know it. And as soon as the teacher walks out of the room: Chaos! They instantly turn into a pack of monsters, waiting to devour the poor room mother. I've seen it. I know.
So yesterday morning, in my pre-party panic, I took the advice of a seasoned room mother and bought an interactive DVD game. "Great entertainment," she said..."the kids will love it!" "It'll be EASY," she said.
"Easy" I repeated, as if in a trance.
With no time to waste, I ran to Target. Of course they were out of the game she recommended. But they had Family Feud. In my panic, I bought it. "Family Feud," I thought, "that's a fun game! The kids will love it, and it will be EASY!"
EASY!
Well, I got that stinking game home and I could not figure out how to make it work. Tick tock, the party is in 30 minutes. What am I going to do? I have no back up plan! So I sent an urgent text message to my husband and it said: "HELP! I CAN'T FIGURE OUT THIS GAME, PLEASE COME TO THE 5TH GRADE PARTY, I NEED YOU, PLEASE!!!"
(Nevermind that my husband is a CPA, up to his eyeballs in taxes right now. This was an emergency.)
But I never heard from him. So much for my urgent message.
I went to the party with my useless game. I confessed to the teacher that I couldn't make it work. So she stuck it in her DVD player and lo & behold! It worked! Eureka!
Just to be sure, we fired up a sample question.
"What do people like to do on the weekend?" the game asks. Hmmm. That seems like a fun question. Let's click on the answer...
Survey Says:
A. Drink alcohol
B. Have sex
C. Who cares what C, D, and E are!
My $19.95 game was NOT going to be the hit of the 5th grade party. Instead, we stalled as long as possible over Valentine's distribution, treat eating, and then we played a free game called "four corners." The kids loved it.
And I have made a solemn vow that I will never, ever sign up to be the room mother again.
posted by Juanita at
7:05 AM
4 Comments:
Good grief, my anxiety was through the roof while reading that! Glad you made it out of there alive!
Wow. Sounds like my Hitler debacle!
OK, I'm sorry, but the story of the Family Feud game and then it finally working, and then the first question and those two answers?!?! Sounds like such a tough day but at least one of those "so tough you have no choice but to laugh" moments?
Hang in there....and having been a grade school teacher in a "former life," I honor you for taking on the truly admirable task of being room parent. Seriously. We teachers *love* our room parents. Remember that!
Oh my god. Thank god you did a pre-game trial on that question!!!!!
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