God Made Man-Jobs...
...and one of them is teaching kids to drive.
I am still in a cold sweat. My knees are weak. I am not exaggerating. The only good thing that came out of Anna's third driving lesson ever is that little high you get when you've had a major adrenalin release.
For some crazy reason, I consented to be a passenger in the family van with Anna at the wheel. The child has driven for a total of 45 minutes in her entire life. Paul convinced me to load up the family and let her drive us all to Crown Center, which is in the middle of the city, and therefore in the middle of city traffic. It was a Sunday afternoon, so it seemed fairly benign -- until we got to the end of the driveway. That drive was the longest 30 minutes of my life. I spent the majority of the time with my head between my knees. Every time I looked up, she was accelerating into a busy intersection. I swear this happened: She confused the gas with the brake. When I let out an involuntary scream, she had an attitude with me. For godsakes! My life was passing before my eyes! What choice did I have? "ANNA, STOP...STOP...STOP!" Wow. I haven't had a good primal scream in ages, until today.
Paul said that letting her drive the van is part of the master plan. We need a new car anyway.
My Dad, God love him, taught me to drive. His teaching consisted of sleeping in the passenger seat. Was he really sleeping, or were his eyes squeezed shut out of terror? It really doesn't matter. What does matter is this: Teaching a child to drive is a man-job. I am officially excused.
I am still in a cold sweat. My knees are weak. I am not exaggerating. The only good thing that came out of Anna's third driving lesson ever is that little high you get when you've had a major adrenalin release.
For some crazy reason, I consented to be a passenger in the family van with Anna at the wheel. The child has driven for a total of 45 minutes in her entire life. Paul convinced me to load up the family and let her drive us all to Crown Center, which is in the middle of the city, and therefore in the middle of city traffic. It was a Sunday afternoon, so it seemed fairly benign -- until we got to the end of the driveway. That drive was the longest 30 minutes of my life. I spent the majority of the time with my head between my knees. Every time I looked up, she was accelerating into a busy intersection. I swear this happened: She confused the gas with the brake. When I let out an involuntary scream, she had an attitude with me. For godsakes! My life was passing before my eyes! What choice did I have? "ANNA, STOP...STOP...STOP!" Wow. I haven't had a good primal scream in ages, until today.
Paul said that letting her drive the van is part of the master plan. We need a new car anyway.
My Dad, God love him, taught me to drive. His teaching consisted of sleeping in the passenger seat. Was he really sleeping, or were his eyes squeezed shut out of terror? It really doesn't matter. What does matter is this: Teaching a child to drive is a man-job. I am officially excused.
posted by Juanita at
3:16 PM
4 Comments:
Susan and I had a major fight one day when I took her out to drive. I think Dad had died by then so all man jobs fell to the biggest girl...ME. You remember how Susan and I used to fight? Yes...and it was a bad one!
My parents taught me to drive together. My dad would be in the front seat giving me instructions in English, and my mom would be in the back, repeating the same instructions in Chinese, both of them clutching at the door-handles the entire time. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I'm lucky we all survived.
Laurita, I can just imagine that fight: WWIII. I'm glad I had moved out by that time. Kairu, that cracks me up! Anna would describe the scene we had on Sunday in exactly the same way, minus the Chinese.
my p's/dad mostly, would take us to a large gravel parking lot at the fair-grounds to practice parking, driving, turning etc, way before we got behinf the wheel on a busy street...have you tried that...or has Pablo tried that?...it may help the situation...
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