Family History/American History

I had an interesting patient today, a very nice guy. He was born in Vietnam, but was adopted by an American family and didn't know any of his medical history. He was born in the early 70's, before the end of the war between the U.S. and Vietnam. I wanted to ask if he remembered Vietnam; I wanted to know his story.

Instead, I took care of him, sent him on his way; afraid to delve into potentially painful topics in order to satisfy my own curiosity. It's hard to know if a person is helped or hurt by speaking about such things.

I remember when my dad was dying, then just after he died, it always felt like a relief to speak his name, to talk about him when someone was kind enough to ask. But this was a different situation, and I was afraid it would be rude to refer to the war between our countries.

And yet I couldn't help but to look at his face, his hands, his eyes, and think that this person has overcome incredible odds. And I wanted to know his story. I wanted to know how a child of an enemy country became one of our own. I wanted to know his feelings on the war, and on his adopted country. I should have asked, but I didn't.