Contemplation & Burial
The Sick Ones have returned to school. Except Bird. I think she is sick again, poor baby.
I'm feeling contemplative today, which isn't a good thing. Sometimes the sadness infuses everything. There are so many reminders! They are everywhere and in everything. Places, people, songs, dates -- they all bring me back to the winter and spring of 2005. The feeling settles in my throat and stays there. How am I ever going to resolve this? It is a lot to bury. I'm too small to bury this inside me. And I'm not a small person.
I've been having violent dreams. I'm attacked by a stranger, a man. At least the shotgun man has stayed away. Now it's a knife, which is Freudian, of course. And you know what? I have been fucked! Not in the good sense.
OK. That's enough of that. Get out the shovel, it's time to bury it.
Hey! I can get into my fat jeans again. Woohoooooooooo! Yes, folks, that's progress. Three weeks on this diet and it's becoming easier. Really. We went out for Mexican food last night and I had, (drumroll please) THREE CHIPS. One light beer, no margaritas. And shrimp fajitas, but I only ate the shrimp. OK, and the rice. But that's about 1/3 of what I used to eat. I think I did pretty good, a girl's got to live a little.
Speaking of diet, which I concede is a boring subject, what do you think of this? My husband and I are part owners of a restaurant. We eat there a lot. So today he asks me to come down to the restaurant for lunch, and afterwards take him to pick up his car at the shop. I said, "OK, but I'm getting a salad at Bagel & Bagel" (which is not our restaurant.) And my husband...my husband of almost 19 years...gets his panties in a bunch because I want to spend $6 on a salad at another restaurant when I could have a salad at our restaurant for free. But you know what, I'm sick and tired of our restaurant! I don't like our salads, I never have. I want a good salad for my stinking diet, and I don't care if it costs $6. We are not poor. We have plenty of money. PLENTY! And that's not to brag, but to highlight the ridiculousness of his complaint. So people, hear this: I am going to get my salad. I am going to spend $6. And if the price has gone up, I'll pay it. I'll spend $20 on that salad today, if that's what it costs.
The moral of this story: Never, ever cross a contemplative woman on a diet.
I'm feeling contemplative today, which isn't a good thing. Sometimes the sadness infuses everything. There are so many reminders! They are everywhere and in everything. Places, people, songs, dates -- they all bring me back to the winter and spring of 2005. The feeling settles in my throat and stays there. How am I ever going to resolve this? It is a lot to bury. I'm too small to bury this inside me. And I'm not a small person.
I've been having violent dreams. I'm attacked by a stranger, a man. At least the shotgun man has stayed away. Now it's a knife, which is Freudian, of course. And you know what? I have been fucked! Not in the good sense.
OK. That's enough of that. Get out the shovel, it's time to bury it.
Hey! I can get into my fat jeans again. Woohoooooooooo! Yes, folks, that's progress. Three weeks on this diet and it's becoming easier. Really. We went out for Mexican food last night and I had, (drumroll please) THREE CHIPS. One light beer, no margaritas. And shrimp fajitas, but I only ate the shrimp. OK, and the rice. But that's about 1/3 of what I used to eat. I think I did pretty good, a girl's got to live a little.
Speaking of diet, which I concede is a boring subject, what do you think of this? My husband and I are part owners of a restaurant. We eat there a lot. So today he asks me to come down to the restaurant for lunch, and afterwards take him to pick up his car at the shop. I said, "OK, but I'm getting a salad at Bagel & Bagel" (which is not our restaurant.) And my husband...my husband of almost 19 years...gets his panties in a bunch because I want to spend $6 on a salad at another restaurant when I could have a salad at our restaurant for free. But you know what, I'm sick and tired of our restaurant! I don't like our salads, I never have. I want a good salad for my stinking diet, and I don't care if it costs $6. We are not poor. We have plenty of money. PLENTY! And that's not to brag, but to highlight the ridiculousness of his complaint. So people, hear this: I am going to get my salad. I am going to spend $6. And if the price has gone up, I'll pay it. I'll spend $20 on that salad today, if that's what it costs.
The moral of this story: Never, ever cross a contemplative woman on a diet.
posted by Juanita at
7:42 AM
7 Comments:
Gees. I'm with you on the salad issue. Eating the same foods over and over again is boring, esp. when you already have to restrict your choices! That's why I own 40 different cookbooks. Periodically, I just get bored with the same old food, and then I need to switch to something new. That doesn't mean I never eat the old stuff again...it just means that variety is important.
Men can be such cheapos. My lovely fiance does not understand my desire to pay a photographer to document our wedding. He insists that his pal, bill, can walk around with his camera and take pictures. Whatever. I have assured him that it would be nice if I only marry once in my life and it would be even nicer to have a few decent photos of the occasion. Christ!
Men can be such cheapos. My lovely fiance does not understand my desire to pay a photographer to document our wedding. He insists that his pal, bill, can walk around with his camera and take pictures. Whatever. I have assured him that it would be nice if I only marry once in my life and it would be even nicer to have a few decent photos of the occasion. Christ!
See I am a tightwad so I would be like your husband - sorry ...
OK, Juanita, you guys have plenty of money because your husband is a cheap ass. His bitching about a $6 salad, though annoying when you want to switch up the routine (and I do feel your pain about the repetitive nature of FreeTeca), is what allows you guys to have the lifestyle you do.
Could you propose that the FreeTec crew devise a "lighter side" menu? I bet John would go for it. He seems like he enjoys experimentation. And something like that would be marketable to many more than just you.
Violent dreams are always freaky. I think I get mine when I'm under extreme stress...and you are under extreme stress and have been for two years now.
Oh Laurita! Allow me to bitch about the ol' miser, will you? You know that $6 salad argument was ridiculous. What's he going to do, take it with him? Geez!
OK...sorry...bitch away, mi hermanita.
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