My Dear Husband is a Freak

The following story is 100% true. It happened yesterday afternoon.

Paul and I were walking around a local park. Out of the clear blue sky, he says: "I hate the way Sonic drinks come in styrofoam."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because it's bad for the environment."

Just as the words are leaving his mouth, he reaches out and discards his recyclable aluminum can. In the trash! In his defense, he normally recycles, but the irony of his statement coinciding with that action was too much.

On a lighter note...

During that same walk, my dear husband rips a big ol' fart. Now, this park has a well-populated walking path, which we were using. I said, "Paul! Observe the rules of etiquette! Check behind you before you rip one."

True to his nature, he waited about 10 minutes, then he stopped and made a big show out of ripping another long, loud one. Only this time there was a poor woman with a baby stroller about 10 feet behind us. I looked back and nearly collapsed with laughter. I was so embarrassed! I had to start walking faster and tried to act like I didn't even know my husband of 20 years.

I said, "I told you to check behind you before you do that!" He said, "Well, that's what she gets for tailgating."